Ilja's Story

What do you do now, and what does your current work involve?

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I’m an AuDHD coach, speaker and lived experience consultant. I work at the intersection of neurodivergence, trauma, and identity, supporting women who feel overwhelmed, burnt out, or like they’ve spent their lives masking who they are. I help them understand their nervous system, reconnect with themselves, and build lives or businesses that actually fit.

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Alongside coaching, I work with organisations, councils, and NGOs to deliver talks, training, and consultancy that embed trauma-informed and neurodivergent-aware approaches into their systems, culture and leadership.

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What do you regard as your first career or the path you originally started out in?

 

My early career wasn’t a straight line, it was a series of businesses and roles where, from the outside, I looked capable and driven. But underneath, I was navigating trauma, masking heavily, and trying to succeed in environments that didn’t understand how my brain worked.

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Have there been any other careers, roles or industries you’ve worked in along the way, including any detours, pivots or unexpected chapters in your career journey?

 

I’ve started and run over a dozen businesses across industries including education, catering (including a cookery school and restaurants), and consultancy. What might look like multiple pivots was actually a process of learning, not just how to build businesses, but how to build them in a way that works with my brain, not against it.

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Looking back across your career so far, what prompted some of those changes in direction?

 

Most of my pivots came from a quiet but persistent realisation: "this works on paper, but it doesn’t work for me".

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I was burning out, over-performing, and trying to meet expectations that didn’t account for neurodivergence or trauma, and eventually that disconnect became impossible to ignore.

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Were there particular moments, opportunities or realisations that encouraged you to try something different?

 

The biggest shift came when I understood that I wasn’t broken, I was navigating ADHD, autism and trauma. That reframed everything. Instead of asking, “How do I fix myself to fit the world?”, I started asking, “How do I build a life that fits me?”.

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What were some of the biggest challenges you faced when changing path?

 

Letting go of identities that looked successful from the outside. There’s a real grief in walking away from something you’ve worked hard to build, especially when others don’t understand why. I was also rebuilding without a clear blueprint, while managing burnout and nervous system dysregulation at the same time.

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What helped you most in navigating those career transitions?

 

Understanding my nervous system and how my brain actually works, in a practical, lived way. Also, reframing what I once saw as flaws as adaptive intelligence. Masking, for example, wasn’t weakness, it was a survival strategy. That shift allowed me to build from self-trust instead of self-criticism.

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What has surprised you most about where your career has taken you?

 

That the things I once thought made me “too much” or “too complicated” are now the foundation of my work. My lived experience, which I used to hide, is now what creates the most impact, both with individuals and within organisations looking to create meaningful, trauma-informed change.

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What practical advice would you give to someone who is considering a career change but isn’t sure where to begin?

 

Start with your energy, not just your skills. Ask yourself what drains me, what actually feels sustainable, and where am I performing instead of functioning? A career change isn’t just about what you do, it’s about how you’re able to exist while doing it.

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Looking back now, what key lessons or reflections would you share with others thinking about changing careers?

 

You don’t need to force yourself into a path that requires you to constantly override your needs. Your sensitivity, intensity and way of thinking aren’t barriers, they’re information. When you build around them instead of against them, everything changes.

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To explore Ilja’s work, visit www.iljaabbattista.co.uk, download her free guide You’re Not Broken, and connect on Instagram at @iljaabbattista or LinkedIn at Ilja Abbattista